Why bullies don’t apologise

Bullies are essentially cowards. They will not want to acknowledge their aggressive and offensive behaviour but will be intent on deflecting the attention back on you. So, in common with other toxic types, when confronted they will deny, dismiss, ignore and try to make out that you are the one with the problem, or that you are being too sensitive.

Bullies tend to gang up with other bullies and form little alliances. They are, at heart, frightened people who seek safety in seeking to dominate or ridicule others. So, if you have achieved a higher mark in an examination, for example, they will lash out by calling you a book worm or a swot or seek to undermine in some other way. In that instance it is important to acknowledge that they are jealous and can’t find it within themselves to be generous and be glad for you.

Often, bullies will be insecure about their own achievements and you might find that they have more successful siblings, or very demanding parents. Don’t buy into their nonsense. For them to apologise would be to own their own lies about their life and to address their own anger.

When dealing with bullies, stick to the facts and don’t play their game by getting emotive. If you are friends with such people and are subject to their aggressive projections, then ask yourself whether your life is enriched by their friendship. If not, ask yourself why you have them in your life. Setting healthy boundaries with toxic people brings about emotional stability and boosts your levels of self-esteem.

See my latest article on bullying and why bullies don’t apologise.