We do not arrive in adulthood with a perfectly formed state of emotional well-being. Often, we carry around baggage to varying degrees of weight from our past, whether that is from our childhood, early experiences at work or from our family dynamics. Past events can impact on how we interact in the present and can influence the quality of our relationships. If we experienced some form of trauma or suffered a developmental rupture in our formative years the danger is that we may have a wound to heal. Applying a sticky plaster on a wound can sometimes be of benefit but often the wound may need greater care and attention to lighten the loud.
Parental discord and divorce can be confusing for a child and to their sense of safety and security, as they can assume it is something they have done wrong. When such adversity occurs there may have been some damage to the child’s ‘secure base’ and the emotional fall-out could be the development of a fear of abandonment. Such events can contribute to an attachment style in relationships.
The work in therapy can be about bringing awareness to your way of operating in the world and why you act the way you do. Healing your wounds can transform your relationships. See my latest article on fear of abandonment in relationships for more information.