In terms of sexuality, what distinguishes us, as humans, from others in the animal kingdom is our capacity for an erotic life. Couples who maintain a happy long term sexual relationship tend to allow each other erotic privacy. Affairs can be an expression of a need for emotional intimacy or to form a connection. This connection may be sought with someone else, which could be a result of unfinished business with that person, but it might also be an attempt by someone to connect with a forbidden part of themselves. Perhaps that part of themselves that is ‘naughty’ has been dormant and suppressed for long periods. That part of themselves, which may be the forbidden part, can seek expression at times in life when there is worry about health issues or when there has been loss, or bereavement. This can lead to someone asking themselves what else is there in life. The existential tensions of loss and search for meaning can often form part of the mix leading to an affair. When fun and adventure are sought, it could be seen as an unconscious desire to escape fears associated with death. After all, fun and adventure are the perfect antidotes to mortality.