When we operate in autopilot mode we may be prone to responding to instinctive desires in order to gain pleasure and thus avoid any kind of emotional pain. This may be okay in the present moment if we need to stay safe and to avoid danger. However, when we opt for the psychologically comfortable and familiar path, particularly in the short term, it can prevent us from taking responsibility for the very actions that could lead to greater sense of professional fulfillment, personal happiness and even material security in the longer term.
I made the following points and was quoted in an article in Inews about living on autopilot and how to stop.
Common signs of being in autopilot:
If you are constantly busy you may be in autopilot mode, as you become distracted from what you are really feeling. You do things without much thought and can feel quite numb.
You can struggle to adapt to a change of plan or environment and you don’t feel like you are making progress.
People in your life will say you don’t really listen to them, that you are seemingly always distracted.
You have little idea how you got to a destination when you arrive. Its almost like you undertook the journey in your sleep.
However, unlike being busy, feeling like you are on autopilot can also be due to mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety and some dissociative conditions. If your are concerned about your mental health you could consult with your general practitioner who could advise if there are other considerations to take into account.
Tips on how to stop operating in autopilot mode:
Become more purposeful and intentional in your relationships
When we are operating on autopilot mode there is a risk that others will feel less prioritised as we are not giving them sufficient attention. For example, people in our lives might be talking to us about something important to them but we might be distracted by looking at a screen. A common cause for people seeking couples therapy is when one person does not feel heard because their partner is more interested in what is going on with their device. Becoming more purposeful and intentional is when we are more present with ourselves, and in our relationships, and we start to treat others as we would be expected to be treated ourselves. A practical suggestion is to take a brief pause to consider what might be going on with someone else that you meet throughout your day. What might be happening in their private lives, which you are unaware of?
Get out of your comfort zone
Whilst routine can help our brains to work in the most efficient manner, we can also risk becoming lazy and unchallenged by being in a comfort zone. A comfort zone is when we do the same thing regularly without mixing things up. Good brain health requires stimulation and challenge and we will feel more alive when we embrace new ways of doing things. That’s why setting new goals and challenges can not only be very rewarding but they can also boost new positive neural pathways.
Avoid passive scrolling of social media apps
The technology companies acknowledge the risks of passive scrolling on their social media platforms. We know this from the numerous submissions they have made to parliamentary enquiries about the effect of social media apps and of screen time. These companies have regularly pointed to the negative effects of passive scrolling on mental and emotional well-being. Technology engagement can, of course, be very helpful in boosting the quality of our lives such as by helping us to connect with others in the social world. But passive scrolling of social media will invariably bring a detrimental effect on our well-being as it can prolong autopilot mode almost indefinitely and stifle creativity.
Embrace mindfulness and meditation
Embrace mindfulness and meditation but don’t use such exercises to numb your feelings. These activities have become buzzwords in the self-help field. But meditation can be something that people do as another distraction to escape their feelings, as if they are on autopilot. Psychedelics will also produce a shift of consciousness but following such activity there is a readjustment to the difficult feelings and mental states that are being avoided. Proper mindfulness and meditation is actually getting in touch with feelings, however difficult and discomforting they may appear to be, not seeking to escape or numb them. Therapy is not always suitable for quick fix solutions. Good therapy is when you might actually confront the very feelings you are seeking to escape and learn to be more at ease with them.
Noel Bell is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist based in London and can be contacted on 07852407140 or noel@noelbell.net
