Sometimes there are buzzwords in the self-help field, some that come and go and some that stick around. When the late John Bradshaw was around, everybody seemingly needed to refer to their ‘family of origin’ issues and specifically to address their ‘inner child’ in order to self actualise. Therapy became ‘inner child’ centred in many quarters, particularly in the addiction field. Another more recent buzzword is embodiment, (admittedly more annoying), whereby the achievement of nirvana is all about getting in touch with your somatic energies. I say annoying, not because I do not believe that somatic experiencing is an important aspect of holistic integration, but because it risks sounding too much like tunnel vision such is the pre-occupation that take place in some quarters about its importance. The other buzzwords that float around the therapy field include ‘narcissism’, ‘toxic’, ‘trauma’, ‘triggering’, ‘soul journeys’ and ‘codependent’, to name just a few. I might be guilty here, myself, of adding to the bias by using words that are reflective of a buzz, namely referring to ‘toxic positivity’. But here we go anyway.
A more recent use of ‘toxic’ has surfaced with reference to being positive. In response to the emotional ramifications of the coronavirus pandemic a newish term ‘toxic positivity’ has become more commonplace which follows the ‘good vibes only’ attitude of pop psychologists and those who exclaim that “misery is optional” when assessing well-being. Anxiety, fear and grief may have been witnessed and experienced during the collective trauma of the pandemic but for those espousing the ethos of toxic positivity such negative emotions are wrong and unhelpful. The inference is that you should be grateful for what you have and not be concentrated on what is missing.
So, what makes being positive become toxic? Whilst being positive can have its benefits it becomes problematical when there is a great pressure to always have a positive attitude during a crisis. This risks the creation of a false self, which is activated to invalidate an individual’s feelings, thoughts and emotions since there is no space for expressing real feelings. Shame, guilt and embarrassment can become easily activated, when you feel compelled to be positive, that is essentially the toxicity.
How counselling can help
See my article on toxic positivity to understand how counselling and psychotherapy can help with overcoming the negativity associated with a ‘good vibes only’ attitude. I can be contacted on 07852407140 and noel@noelbell.net
