One of the first challenges for therapists with a new client can be to provide some psychoeducation around the unconscious. Quite often clients can believe that if they are not aware of certain feelings, scripts, wounds, blueprints and beliefs then they assume that the content must not exist.
A person’s field of consciousness, or field of awareness (to adopt the language of psychosynthesis), can be who they are aware of being. The material in such a field is what they present when they describe who they think they are and how they think they come across to others. It can be their sense of identity. It is this material that is often presented to the outside world. It can be seen as someone’s ‘front of house’; that which is being presented to the outside world. Some schools of thought describe this as the survival personality, the version of self that needs to be presented to the world in order to feel accepted, welcomed and made to feel part of.
This language is similar to Freud’s ‘complexes’. Sub-personalities is another way of seeking to define this area, although sometimes I fear that such a term is outdated. The risk with viewing something as ‘sub’ is that a denied role could be undermined. The denied role could, for instance, be ‘super’ rather than necessarily being viewed as less than. That is why I prefer the terminology adopted by dialogical self theory with ideas about the personification and the multiple self. Dialogical self theory conceptualises the self in terms of a dynamic multiplicity of relatively autonomous I-positions in the (extended) landscape of the mind. In this conception, the I has the possibility to move from one spatial position to another in accordance with changes in situation and time.
The ideas from internal family systems are useful here too, witnessing voices in the head as potentially useful parts to engage with rather than to kill off. So, you could engage with the inner critic voice, or the internal saboteur, or another internal voice, and learn to locate where in the body that voice emanates from and the nature of its fears or desires for you. The work of Richard Schwartz (the founder of internal family systems) sees the mind as sub-divided, that we are all multiple personalities and that it is often wrong to pathologise multiplicity. For more on internal family systems see the following video:
How does all this work in therapy?
We don’t need to go in search of unconscious material. It usually comes looking for us in the form of unconscious acting out. This can take the form of symptoms such as depression, anxiety, addictions, interpersonal conflicts, lethargy and the plethora of mood disorders that bring individuals into therapy.
It can be beneficial for the process of therapeutic movement to identify which parts of ourselves we are comfortable with and which we are not. The parts that we are comfortable with are usually the parts that we seek to present to the world. This is what can amount to the so-called ‘front of house’ material, that which we present about ourselves to the outside world. These might be the parts that are protecting other more vulnerable parts which have been subject to trauma, and which might be frozen in time. The psyche might have learned to cope with a traumatic event in childhood by protecting the vulnerability part associated with that memory. The trouble is, the psyche might not realise you are now an adult. It might still think you are that frightened child when reminded of that memory. That could be why it engages in protector and firefighting roles in order to stay safe.
The point at which people enter therapy can be when unconscious material starts to negatively impact on the field of conscious awareness. This can present as phobias, resentments, depression, anxiety and so on.
The therapist role is to expand the client’s field of awareness so that denied roles and ways of being can be better integrated within the psyche. In practice this means helping and facilitating the process whereby the client describes their narrative and brings insight to the parts of themselves that are troublesome. This is done by providing the space for the client to tell their story in as much detail as possible. This helps to shine a light on who and what bothers them and helps to keep the communication in the client’s language. It is possible to identify their acceptable and unacceptable parts of themselves as they outline their personal narrative about which people they like and who they don’t like, what their preferences are and how they describe their school days, family life, peer group experiences and so on. It is often the unacceptable parts of their psyche that have become troublesome and it is for this reason that they have sought help. The vulnerable parts might have accumulated raw emotion over time in response to a traumatic event and this vulnerability might be locked away and other parts seek to protect that fragile part.
How to identify denied parts of self
- List the qualities, behaviours, self-expression, ways of being that were disapproved of in your early life.
- List the people that you are arguing with. Who do you have strong judgments about and why?
- Which beliefs you hold about what is right and wrong and good and bad.
- Which feelings and behaviours you would rather not have?
- Which parts and aspects of yourself would you rather get rid of?
- Where in the body do you sense and feel such parts?
- List people who you admire. Who would you like to be closer to?
- Which qualities were approved of in your early life?
- What was approved of and what was rewarded in your family network, in school, in peer groups and in work environments?
These lists will inform who you think you are. Qualities often operate in polarized pairs. Therefore, these qualities and behaviours will uncover a list of their exact opposites. For example, if being angry is not an acceptable way of being then the way of being that is acceptable might involve the role of the peace keeper. The peace keeper could be seen as the identified role in the field of awareness whereas being angry is defended against, repressed, hidden or denied. Being angry might mean going against historical family norms and values or longstanding ways of being. Being angry might be associated with shame in the contexts of the various rackets associated with home life. A whole host of mechanisms might be at play to prevent the presentation of anger such as guilt, dissociation, denial, splitting, projection and avoidance and so on. That vulnerable part of you essentially needs to be unburdened so that the part can thrive and positive qualities can flourish.
Uncovering these mechanisms is part of the process of therapy and helping to abandon outdated toxic messaging systems can help you to manifest a more integrated way of being. It will be okay to be appropriately angry and not have the associated negative toxic messaging system. Being the peace keeper might be an adapted self position and therapy could be a process of uncovering your real self so that you can have a more fulfilling and happier life.
Seeking help
It is important that an impartial and professionally trained therapist with no vested interest is tasked with uncovering this material. They will be best placed to see your blind spots as part of the constancy of therapy. This is what it means to have good psychic boundaries. Can this be done by chatting with a good friend or confidant? I think not. Friends invariably have a vested interest in the process and will want you to be a certain way, however well-intentioned they may be. A therapist should not have any such conflicts.
Helping to integrate polarities, rather than allowing them to wage a form of internal psychic war, is the task of the therapist. We must be aware of the parts that are being deemed unacceptable and killed off. Where are we shying away from conflict in our lives and why? Which parts of us are protecting or perhaps firefighting, other more vulnerable parts. The therapy session may represent a microcosm of somewhere’s life outside the room. Uncovering denied roles, unburdening shame attached to parts and learning to manifest positive qualities in the outside world is what makes therapy dynamic and exciting. For that to happen, however, a client needs to give themselves permission and you as the therapist permission to address and work with the denied roles. Without that permission, and willingness to do the work, the potential for negative transference is massive.
Noel Bell is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist based in Central London. He can be contacted on 07852407140.
