Attached is my latest article about how to boost self-regulation and, thereby, how to overcome bad stress.
It is important to remember that stress is not something we can really eradicate. Without some form of stress we might be bored senseless. That is why a distinction between good and bad stress can be useful.
Good stress, whilst aspects of any stress can be discomforting, is, nevertheless, an essential part of overall well-being. The beneficial aspects of good stress is that we are potentially in receipt of excitement and challenge, and not fear and anxiety. The term “eustress”, or good stress, refers to the positive motivating force which can lead to personal growth. Unlike bad stress, there is a sense of control, and the body’s nervous reaction does not experience a real survival threat. Examples could be the hormone surge from preparing for a speech, starting a new job, pursuing goals or experiencing an exciting event.
Bad stress, however, is debilitating and is detrimental to personal well-being. When we are suffering from bad stress we are essentially distressed, as we experience anxiety, confused thinking, reduced concentration and, as a consequence, reduced personal performance. Bad stress can, of course, be acute (typically short term) or chronic (long term). When stress is chronic we have gradually lost our ability to self-regulate in a healthy way. Our personal resourcing (the things we do to get back to our safe zone after being triggered) will have been negatively compromised. This is when addictions and other unhealthy coping mechanisms can take hold. Rather than returning to our flow state organically, we use unhealthy coping mechanisms to escape difficult thoughts and feelings.
To be well self-regulated is to have the ability to manage and control our emotions in order to achieve our long-term goals. It also means being emotionally agile to deal more effectively with life stressors, since they will inevitably always exist such is the nature of life, and to expand our window of tolerance. Expanding our window of tolerance essentially involves developing a self-mastery quality so that resilience is strong when stressed. To be well self-regulated is to be the opposite of having dysregulated arousal.
Noel Bell is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist and can be contacted on 07852407140
