It has been interesting to observe the reversal in policy by the Trump administration regarding the forced separation of parents and their kids seeking to gain entry into the USA by illegal means. Trump’s so-called ‘zero tolerance’ immigration policy witnessed more than 2300 children separated from their parents who entered the criminal justice system for attempting to cross the border illegally.
Trump supporters quoted at political rallies defended their President for endorsing such policies, claiming that if parents did not want to be separated from their kids then they should seek to enter the country through the legal route. This attitude seemed to imply that people undertook a long migrant journey for the hell of it. The reality is that people are often escaping violence, trauma and stress in their own countries and taking such a long journey through Central and South America is not undertaken lightly.
Mr Trump eventually signed an executive order ending the practice of family separations at the border.
The justifiable uproar with the forced separation policy at the US border was that this was a state sponsored policy of dealing with illegal immigrant entry into the country and deemed to be heartless. The new policy will detain families together while individual members are prosecuted. Whilst this is to be welcomed, the sad reality is that children are separated from their parents every day of the week in the American criminal judicial system when adults are sent to prisons after being convicted of crimes and their kids are placed into care (admittedly not in cage like detention centres along the border).
People who have been separated from their primary caregivers during crucial stages of child development can carry so-called developmental ruptures into their way of relating in adulthood. Relationship styles in adulthood can often be reflective of early trauma, loss and fear. This can potentially set up a series of problems into adulthood associated with anxiety, depression, codependency, addictions, PTSD and the fear of abandonment, as outlined by the American Psychological Association open letter to Trump about his separation policy.
I referred to some of these points when interviewed on Sky News about the policy:
Attachment styles learned in our early years can, of course, be changed. More secure ways of relating can be learned from the influences from good parenting, insightful relationships and psychotherapeutic interventions. It is possible to arrive at an ‘earned secure attachment’ by healing past wounding and experiencing healthy reparative relationships.
See also
Develop a healthy sense of self to overcome codependency