We all have endings, whether it is with people, jobs, courses, families, therapy, groups, schooling, etc. How we deal with our own individual endings is often a reflection of how we dealt with endings within our family. Families tend to set the blue print for how we operate in groups and how we left our family could be a fruitful exercise to examine.
As I approach the end of my training at CCPE I have been reflective about my own experiences on the course and how I have developed as a therapist. The end of the course with all the associated activities of lectures, supervision, peer support et al represents the end of an external structure, with a greater reliance on an internal structure.
It is interesting to view the results of a Google search when you enter “endings” in the search box. The first result is a link to 115 quotes about endings. The opening quote in that list is “There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” So said Frank Herbert. The next set of search results deal with good films ruined by bad endings. I began to wonder how my ending would be if my course had been a film script. The bad ending could take a few twists and involve some nasty characters, perhaps?
When I searched for “endings in psychotherapy” the first result was a link to a very interesting article by Dr Andrew Powell entitled “Ending is for Life”. This interesting article explores endings in therapy from a psycho-analytical perspective and the internal object world. The paper also explores endings from a Jungian perspective; that the analyst is there to assist in the client’s alchemical transformation, not unlike enlightenment, the coincidentia oppositorum, a Latin phrase meaning coincidence of opposites. The Jungian approach is centred around spiritual transformation through individuation. Seeking to integrate mystical experiences in a wider vision of reality was what excited Jung. Another good read is Experiencing Endings and Beginnings by Isca Salzberger-Wittenberg.
Freud, a man of science and an atheist, was profoundly sceptical about such concepts, as he was seeking to ground his theory in the empirical sciences.The whole premise that there are different levels of consciousness is perhaps profoundly unacceptable to the scientific mind, or even other psychotherapeutic approaches. The scientist contends that we are all equal and all the same. However, my own phenomenological experience informs me that there are several levels, quite apart from the extensive research of Piaget (1951), Kohlberg (1981), Loevinger (1976), Graves (1970) and Cook-Greuter (2004) which showed several levels.
A client once told me that we therapists can sometimes underestimate the resilience of our clients by making such a fuss about endings. She may have had a point. At times I felt that we did endings to death during the training. But if there is one learning outcome of my 4 years of psychotherapy training it is that one should not underestimate the importance of managing endings with clients, as often therapists are modelling healthy relationship patterns. One supervisor suggested that a useful question to ask a client wishing to end their therapy (more relevant in the content of longer term therapy than fixed sessions brief therapy), “why now?” “Why now?” can be a very useful yet succinct question, which can be a useful source of personal material.
Having finished the teaching part of the course I am now reflecting on what type of therapist I have become. Reflecting back to what the course directors said at the open evening about the need to find one’s own way and one’s own truth, I find myself wondering what is my particular way of practicing? This can be a shifting space, and perhaps might always be, but I am very content that I chose an integrative course rather than having to adhere to a dogmatic ‘purist’ approach. If I use an analogy of carrying a counselling toolbox, I believe that I have developed a diverse range of tools and techniques to choose from in my toolbox so that I can best help my clients.
However, the course in another sense has merely opened the door to a rich range of opportunities to further explore in greater depth in continuing professional development, with like-minded people. The closing of a chapter is perhaps necessary in order to embrace new challenges and to open up new chapters.