Call Noel now on 07852407140 for help with gambling problems, whether you yourself are suffering or if you have a loved one caught up in the addiction.
How to deal with gambling urges now that you have stopped gambling
Once you have stopped gambling it is imperative that you have a relapse prevention strategy in place in order to sustain and support your ongoing recovery and rehabilitation. Stopping can sometimes be the easy part. Staying stopped becomes the ongoing challenge over the longer term.
Here are some pointers to sustain your relapse prevention strategy and to identify common triggers to gambling:
1. Dealing with boredom
Problem gamblers typically show common characteristics such as thriving on challenges and being attracted to hugely stimulating situations. Problem gamblers often tolerate boredom very poorly and if they encounter a task to be uninspiring they will avoid it or not complete it (Research by Peck, 1986). It is, therefore, critical to change your lifestyle in order to better respond to boredom triggers. It is important to stay busy and to avoid being idle. Problem gamblers typically struggle with too much free time after stopping gambling. This is even more difficult if you don’t have a job or college course to keep you busy.
Try to stay in the moment and not to speculate about the future. You are more likely to avoid anxiety if you are focused on your day ahead, moment to moment. Thinking about future events may only induce fear and apprehension as you have no control about what might or what might not happen in the future.
Try to keep your focus on the day. There is nothing you can do about yesterday, so try to forget about previous gambling losses. This can be emotionally painful but one sure way to keep bookmakers in profit is when gamblers start to chase their losses. When you chase past losses you lose any possible discipline you may have had whilst gambling.
If you feel like you want to gamble, and are struggling with the preoccupation to gamble, try to postpone the decision to the next day. Say to yourself that today you will not gamble, but who knows about tomorrow. The key is get to bed at night without gambling that day. Upon awakening remind yourself that you don’t need to gamble for that day too. Getting into the habit of living one day at a time can be a useful way of coping with triggers to gamble. You will gradually gain mental strength the longer you abstain.
Do something completely different. Your brain needs to be stimulated and needs new tasks to be completed in order to stay in a healthy functioning state. Try to learn a new skill or a new language. Having new challenges will help you to keep the gambling urges at bay.
Often gamblers will refer to a hobby that has fallen by the wayside. It would be a good idea to rekindle that hobby now so that your mind is concentrated on activities other than assessing odds and speculating on potential winnings.
2. Avoiding the lure of special events
Problem gamblers often refer to looming special events as areas of anxiety which might threaten a relapse. The type of event can, of course, be very personal. So, for sports gamblers, it could be the Cheltenham Festival or Royal Ascot or the Grand National. For others, it may be Wimbledon tennis, football finals, test cricket or golf events. These type of special events can often be associated with increased coverage in the media and increasingly bookmaker representatives will seek to increase the hype surrounding the events, with bonus bets on offer. The television advertising invariably portrays a message that it is insufficient to merely watch the event but in order to really enjoy the occasion it is necessary to have a wager on the outcome.
It is critical to be aware of your triggers to gambling. So, when special events are approaching, it is important to be more mindful of your vulnerabilities. This might mean increasing your level of social support, writing daily journals, staying close to fellow recovering ex gamblers, avoiding the temptation to read about the special events in the newspapers or to watch build-up programmes on the television. Such programmes only serve to increase the hype and weaken your resolve. Your relapse prevention strategy could also include asking a trusted partner or friend to manage your money supply for a time as this will help prevent acting on impulse. A difficulty to manage impulses as well as an inability to delay gratification has been cited as two major impulsivity-related symptoms of pathological gamblers (McCormick & Taber, 1988). You don’t need to believe that your gambling was necessarily pathological to learn from such research.
3. Coping with stress
The ability to handle stress and to effectively deal with our emotions is critical in maintaining effective emotional regulation. Factors such as stress may be more likely to contribute to gambling problems according to findings from Lightsey & Hulsey, 2002. Learning how to cope with stress is crucial to any successful relapse prevention strategy. To draw upon neuroscience evidence and interpersonal neurobiology it is necessary to assess affect dysregulation. See Jon Daly’s very clear and articulate explanation of the science of addiction. In summary, how we regulate our emotional wellbeing determines how well we moderate our addictive tendencies and stress is the barometer of our ability to manage our emotions.
In terms of comorbidities, according to Professor Jon Grant at the University of Chicago, female gamblers are more likely to have mood disorders, more likely than men to attempt suicide because of their gambling, more likely to have anxiety disorders and more likely to develop nicotine dependence. He also maintains that women have a lower sensation seeking constitution which may result from a less reactive dopaminergic system.
4. Worries about money
Gamblers often think they can ‘make it pay’ whilst gambling. This desire can become stronger at a time of life transitions such as redundancy or the end of a college course. The gambling can be seen as a way of life and akin to having a job. However, the instinctual fear of not having sufficient funds will not be eradicated by pursuing gambling as an occupational activity. You will only create further problems as you attempt to satisfy your instinctual desire for material security.
5. Take stock of what you have achieved
Try to be grateful for your ‘clean time’ and try not to sabotage your recovery by a spree of gambling. Cognitive distortions can reappear such as “this time it will be different” and it is important to reality-test these distortions. Think of your gambling urges as your monkey on your shoulder. Don’t let him take over. You owe that to yourself.
6. Remember past losses
It is not a good idea to dwell on the past but it is important to remind yourself how you got here in the first place. It is easy to forget about past gambling losses when you get the urge to gamble again. Gamblers who relapse often report a euphoric feeling that this time it will be different. Remember that a win might only represent a portion of past losses so it is not really winning. If you have been compulsive in the past it is highly unlikely that you can gamble responsibly in the future. If you are compulsive in your gambling activity you cannot win over the long term!
Problem gamblers often report that any winnings are just another way of staying gambling, and feeding the ‘buzz’, for longer. The bookie will usually get the winnings back eventually.
7. Take note of your self sabotage triggers
Gamblers often say that big gambling sprees take place just before a special occasion such as a birthday, wedding anniversary, start of a holiday or an achievement award. The gambling might be a way of punishing yourself or seeking to ease the anxiety you are feeling. Be especially vigilant during these times. Seeing a psychotherapist will offer you the opportunity to explore your life choices in a safe and confidential private setting as you bring greater awareness to your personal triggers to gamble, and the internal parts feeding your addiction.
8. Visualise the name of the betting shop or website changing to the slogan
If you find it difficult staying out of betting shops or away from betting websites it might be useful to make up a slogan in relation to the gambling operator and visualise the name of it changing to the slogan.
Here is an example:
Ladbrokes = lad is broke
William Hill = will be ill
Betfred = Bet and go into red
Coral = Cash or readies all lost
Paddy Power = end up owing Paddy
Betfair = bet unfair
When you hear advertising slogans such as “more ways to win” think instead “more ways to lose”.
Each day you avoid the temptation to gamble you will become stronger, more creative and more energetic. Your life will take on a new meaning as you begin to enjoy a more focused existence once again. Personal relationships will flourish once again and suddenly there will be time to meet up with people in your social network. Previously neglected hobbies and passions can be rediscovered with renewed vigour.
But this personal transformation doesn’t happen by magic. Your role is to remove the dangerous triggers to gamble and possibly to move away from certain people and certain places. It might also mean not watching or reading about the events you once gambled on. Former sports gamblers, for instance, do not read the sports pages or watch live events on the television, preferring instead to watch them by delayed transmission, if at all. Ex financial traders have stopped watching the stock market movements or the daily foreign exchange fluctuations. In time, you can fully reevaluate your previously held view of the magnification of your gambling skills in spite of gambling losses.
Noel Bell is a fully qualified and accredited psychotherapist based in London and has extensive experience of working with addicted clients with over 20 years experience of the 12 Steps of Recovery. Contact him now by calling 07852407140
See also
Gambling problem support
Common pitfalls of trading on Betfair
Support for family and friends