Are you encountering problems with your primary relationship?
Couples are increasingly seeking counselling services given the increased stresses and demands of the modern world, busy careers, childcare responsibilities and the consequential impact on personal relationships.
See my articles on overcoming fear of abandonment and when sex stops happening in your relationship.
See also my interview with Laura Heck discussing the application of the Gottman Institute method couples therapy.
Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher proposed a useful map for understanding the stages of love; lust, romantic and attachment love. The most challenging stage is attachment when the real work of emotional intimacy starts and when the connection deepens. Watch Helen Fisher’s Tedtalk presentation for more information about what happens with the brain and love. See also Esther Perel and The secret to desire in a long-term relationship.
There are many different initiations in relationships. Relationships can be harmonious until you discover a bad habit in your partner when the ideal gives way to reality. This can be the point when the work begins to address what is really happening. In practice, what often happens is that you stop communicating with each other. The key in couples counselling is to start talking to each other again.
How many times have we heard people say You are not the person I feel in love with? In a relationship you are being challenged to engage in unconditional love and the challenge is to open the communication channels once again and to address historical resentments.
Noel Bell is an integrative psychotherapist and is registered and accredited as a psychotherapist with the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP). The UKCP is the UK’s professional body for the education, training and accreditation of psychotherapists.. Call Noel now on 07852 407140
See also